worlds worst son
lives are so fragile and i go from wanting to kill myself in the most mundane way possible to feeling nothing at all at the flip of a hat. I cant tell if my lack of emotion is hindering or aiding my want to end it but even now, i have a girlfriend, and i feel nothing when i kiss her. but when i look at her I become self aware and happy but im not sure if the happiness is coming from the right place, ive always been aware of how I should feel in situations but I never feel it. I dont think i’ll be able to love her and im not talking to her close to as much as I should because im afraid i’ll drag this relationship on longer and longer until its too late for me to say “i’m incapable of love but I think you’re a swell person”. I should end this now too im not worthy of love I havent lived a day in my life. I want to hurt myself I want to kill myself and I want to take the first step into my life. But i’ll just keep gliding through life/gliding seems too elegant im crawling underneath the trenches hoping I wont be seen or noticed taking life day by day by wasting the day away no one should know how empty i feel noonwe should know how sick iam
